Planting Myself at Green Mountain College

Yesterday I went to the spring Open House at Green Mountain College and after that experience I feel absolutely positive that I made the right choice in applying there. I love everything about this college! The professors were talking about how they care about their students and want to help them become the best they can possibly be. Current students talked about how close the campus community is. Nobody judges each other, and they are all one big welcoming family. Even just walking through campus, every single person I passed would smile and say "hello!" or want to start up a conversation that made me feel like I was truly important and worth paying attention to. 

Open House welcome gift: Tomato seeds! :) 

These seeds were planted with all my hopes for my college experience there for the next four years. And as these seeds grow, so will I. As these small, fragile tomato seeds start to sprout, branch out and become healthy, strong plants, I will grow and become the well rounded individual that I was meant to be.   

GMC seeds, soil blocks, and a dibble :) 

After yesterday I've felt so inspired. I was starting to give up on my writing and photography, but now I feel incredibly motivated to continue with my passions and not let anything get in my way. That's the other thing I love about GMC. It's an environment where people can explore their passions and do what they love without being criticized or told that they will never be successful with what they want to do. Professors there want to help students become successful no matter what their passions are. 

Tomato seeds planted in the soil blocks.

I feel like I'll be able to grow at Green Mountain College. I'll get stronger and be able to break out of my shell. I won't be afraid of everything, I'll get involved in activities, and be able to just be myself. 

I look forward to this incredible journey ahead of me! 

Let Me Explain...

When I made it apparent that I wasn't going to be posting anything new on my blog for a while, I really wasn't in the most positive mind set. I had been beating myself up over stupid little things and it escalated to the point where I decided to stop writing completely. I simply gave it up because I told myself I wouldn't ever be successful anyway so why bother. That lasted for a few days, but nothing beneficial came of it. I found myself itching to write and I eventually couldn't keep myself from doing so. So many words poured out of me once I started to write again. It was like everything that I had been keeping inside my head for those few days needed to escape and be free. I know now that I truly could never give up my passion because it's a part of me. Writing is a prominent part of my existence that I would honestly feel lost without.

So that leaves the question about what to do now.

I must admit is that all the optimistic quotes and pieces of advice that I continuously posted about were an attempt to boost my self-confidence. I was sick of being negative all the time and feeling so miserable that I thought preaching positivity would eventually rub off on my own personal ways of thinking. For the most part it helped, but only when I was feeling in especially good moods. When I didn't post for days, weeks, months even, it was because I couldn't think of anything happy to write about. Then I continued to be miserable.

Well, I'm sick of being miserable. I'm going to start taking my own advice and try to find something hopeful in every day, no matter how horrible the day may have been. This is my senior year of high school. I don't want to ruin it and only remember having an awful time when I think back on it. I also don't want to be in a negative mindset as I get ready to enter college and chance missing out on new and exciting experiences.

So here it is. Time to start actually living the life I've been presenting all this time instead of only talking about it.

It Started When...

My guidance counselor told me I wasn't going to be successful as a writer. But, what does she mean by "successful"? Most likely she means the money aspect of it which isn't really my top priority. Sure, getting paid for my writing would be awesome, but it isn't the reason why I write. My definition of success is doing something I'm passionate about and to be able to enjoy work instead of dreading it. Getting my words out there into the world to share with others is what I aim for. To have them get attached to characters I create or stay up all night because they won't be able to put my work down is a possibility that makes me happy whenever I think about it. If I'm able to accomplish all that, then I would say that I'm successful. I know the amazing feeling I get when I get sucked into a book that consumes my entire day. That's the kind of experience I want to create for someone else. I'm not looking to get famous or rich.

Of course I had to choose something else I wanted to do with my life because if I didn't then she'd go on to tell me that I'll never make it in the world. She told a kid that he's stupid and will never make it into a good college so I could only imagine what she'd tell me if I refused to give up my top career choice. Luckily I also enjoy teaching. So currently my goal is to major in Elementary Education and maybe minor in Creative Writing. I understand that it's good to have a degree so I can get a teaching job while working towards my writing goals, but it's just that fact that she told me I'd never be successful at doing something I love that really got on my nerves.