When I made it apparent that I wasn't going to be posting
anything new on my blog for a while, I really wasn't in the most positive mind
set. I had been beating myself up over stupid little things and it escalated to
the point where I decided to stop writing completely. I simply gave it up
because I told myself I wouldn't ever be successful anyway so why bother. That
lasted for a few days, but nothing beneficial came of it. I found myself
itching to write and I eventually couldn't keep myself from doing so. So many
words poured out of me once I started to write again. It was like everything
that I had been keeping inside my head for those few days needed to escape and
be free. I know now that I truly could never give up my passion because it's a
part of me. Writing is a prominent part of my existence that I would honestly
feel lost without.
So that leaves the question about what to do now.
I must admit is that all the optimistic quotes and pieces of
advice that I continuously posted about were an attempt to boost my self-confidence.
I was sick of being negative all the time and feeling so miserable that I
thought preaching positivity would eventually rub off on my own personal ways
of thinking. For the most part it helped, but only when I was feeling in especially
good moods. When I didn't post for days, weeks, months even, it was because I
couldn't think of anything happy to write about. Then I continued to be
miserable.
Well, I'm sick of being miserable. I'm going to start taking
my own advice and try to find something hopeful in every day, no matter how
horrible the day may have been. This is my senior year of high school. I don't
want to ruin it and only remember having an awful time when I think back on it.
I also don't want to be in a negative mindset as I get ready to enter college
and chance missing out on new and exciting experiences.
So here it is. Time to start actually living the life I've
been presenting all this time instead of only talking about it.
